Mankind's Last Hour

"The insignificance of the feeble evolutionary detour that is man is evident, for our future is clear: we will be nothing but dust and bones on a scorched, lifeless rock waiting to be devoured by the sun" - Dark Fortress, Black Metal band

Humankind is in its final stage. The destruction that it has wrought upon nature since the industrial revolution has led to its final stage of annihilation. This corresponds with the last period in Hindu mythology – the kali yuga, where the world will be destroyed ultimately.
“Behold the vastness and sorrow of this empty land
A dark and fell rider clad in garments of shadow
Is the lord of this place
A cruel and wanton king,
A priest of a black religion is he” – Wolves In the Throne Room, "Vastness and Sorrow" from the album Two Hunters

For someone who breathes extreme metal these lines set the tone. Poignant words from black metal bands, whose genre is defined by its association with Satanism. But read between the lines and you find that it speaks of our true nature – to destroy, ourselves and nature. If we step away from our feeble egos, the concept of “I” and look beyond the sky to the vast universe, we will notice that we are nothing more than a grain of sand in the grand scheme of things. In the evolutionary time scale, we are a blip and judging by the rate we continue to maraud, we have ensured that we remain a blip. The irony is that we can’t do anything about it. Wait let me rephrase, the best part is that we can’t do anything about it.

What gives us sustenance? How are we alive? What is our home? Not food, not air and not the four cornered piece of cement slab called as a house, but the planet Earth. Over the last two centuries we have done a wonderful job of turning a blind eye to the larger picture, that is to coexist with nature peacefully but we have managed to destroy it and ourselves in the process.
Close your eyes for a minute and think how much and what is really required for us to survive - Food? Wasn’t that available to us via agriculture? No, that wasn’t enough. We invented money that led to division of classes, we reproduced like viruses, our brains started to develop creations which poisoned the environment. If that wasn’t enough we continued to move to virgin areas and destroyed the fauna and flora of those places as well. Still we keep spreading like viruses and keep infecting places with our actions and thoughts. Is it possible for us to even imagine of an agricultural society or even a hunting one now? Oh yes, living in a hut or a cave with clean air and water seems so nauseating? Hold on, what about food grown in clean unpolluted soil? That’s so history; we have genetically altered vegetables these days!

As I sit in front of my computer (and the next client deliverable) and think about my career, aspirations, needs and wants I begin to wonder how insignificant I am. Yes, I too have played my part in the destruction of my home and I see no way to remedy it. If I get killed then some amount of justice may be done. If we notice the natural calamities and diseases around us, I can't help appreciating the fact that nature has a built in self-defence mechanism. It will not allow a species to grow beyond a certain number. Somewhere in my heart I feel peace. As for humankind, we eventually will get destroyed by our own devices of destruction. But before that I would like our egos and small insignificant worlds that we have created for ourselves crushed as we stare into the dark abyss with no trace of hope.

Hidden Gems

Let me confess. I'm a huge metal and rock fan. I'm addicted to the sound of the guitar. Riffs, acoustics, the distortion gets me all the time. So, I have a huge amount of these songs that I keep playing over and over. There are some songs which I keep playing most of the time than the rest and then there are some which I play rarely.

I was just going through the ones which I play rarely and to my surprise I found some jewels hidden in my lot. One of them was from one of my favorite bands - Iced earth called 'the phantom opera ghost' from their horror show album. Its a 8+ minute song and needs to be devoured in its entirety. So, I was listening to it and was taken aback by the operatic duet between Matthew Barlow and the female singer. It was awesome. It captured the essence of the storyline of phantom of the opera. It gave me goosebumps literally. The pain of the disfigured man, Erik and the desperation of the lady (Christine) was playing in front of my eyes. The way the man declared his love as laid down by matthew barlow's voice was just fantastic. One could not help but pity the antagonist here.

The other one that came up was far away from the metal genre. It was by oasis called 'she is love'. A relaxing nice little hum along song. Simple acoustics and clear vocals make it a relaxing song.

Alright, missing this one was a sin - winger, seventeen, Yes sir yes sir, reb beach, the show is all yours. Starting from the energy filled intro, the adrenalizing guitar solo and the parting outro Reb Beach just nailed everything here. The magic of the 80's was back, albeit for 4 mins but seemed an eternity to me.

As I keep expanding my collecting I hope I keep surprising myself. May be they are meant to be listened rarely, so that i can appreciate their beauty.

P.S. This was written a long time back and now I lean towards extreme metal, but I still appreciate Oasis and Winger as these introduced me to the magic of guitars

Music as we know it!

I get this every time - "what the hell are you listening to?" from my friends and relatives (my mom has given up partly because she's got used to my brother's similar taste at home).

For the ones who don't know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about metal - the scourge of every parent and every "level headed" individual on the planet. That's what the impression is.

So lemme start off by clearing a few misconceptions about this very misunderstood form of entertainment and the people who listen to it.

Myth 1 - Metal is not melodic
Agreed that most of the people who haven't listened to it can't fathom where the melody lies but I get into a fit of rage when someone says it's not melodic!! The majority of the genres under metal are melodic in nature - heavy metal, power metal, metalcore, symphonic metal, melodic death metal.. HELLO!!! get the word "melodic". Classic heavy metal bands like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest are pioneers as far as twin guitar melodies are concerned. These two bands must have inspired countless metal bands of any genre to pick up the guitar. You can still hear traces of iron maiden and priest in many of the bands. If you listen closely metal bands have an expansive sound i.e. it reaches out, it reverberates in a concert. Try listening to the first intro of "hallowed be thy name" or the part just after the guitar solo. Aptly put, in the documentary "Metal: A Headbangers Journey" a interviewee said if Beethoven had been born in the present era he would have been a rock musician. The techniques of classical music are used by the rock and metal maestros to "reach out" to people. You just don't hear it, you feel it in your bones.

Myth 2 - Its a lousy form of entertainment
This is a good one. Its not entertainment. Its noise. Alright, tell me what entertainment mean? something which is supposed to make you feel good. right? It does its job magnificently. Thank you.

Myth 3 - Its not relaxing
Absolutely true. Who in the world said that music is for relaxation only. Metal thrives on adrenaline and aggro. If it doesn't fit into someone's taste, then its not meant for them. You're better off listening to bollywood or bryan adams i guess.

Myth 4 - What instruments are they playing?
Oh yeah, this is a tough one. For starters, one needs to get familiar with the distortion effect that metal uses. When you listen, you realize its not the same as U2's chiink chiink chink and some bollywood's songs like rock on's "socha tha" which are more candy rock oriented. Here we are talking about some serious distortion, amazing solos, rhythm sections, bass guitars and don't forget the drums. Well i guess only a relatively experienced listener can separate everything and thats the magic. All instruments come together to form one structure which can only be dissected if you're upto it. Lesson learnt - go and start listening to some metal please

Myth 5 - Metal fans are wild, crazy and fools
Hmm... consider me. metal addict, well-mannered, quiet, discliped, religious, consulting job. I don't really fit the stereotype. Do I? Now metal fans are down to the core loyal to the genre. We will freak out again and again after listening to "hallowed be thy name" or turn our eyes upward when listening to "raining blood". You won't hear any metal fan saying these things - "you know what, I'm listening to iron maiden at the moment", "i think i'm gonna dig on slayer a bit"!!! get the point? We live and breathe metal. Metal is a friend that is gonna stick with you for the rest of your life. Its straight, its brutal, its infectious and its honest. Its not oodles of happy shit gift-wrapped in colourful packaging. Its as it is. Its the facts of our life and society and not only the happy and uncontroversial side. Its hits your life chord. So no matter who you are or what you do it sticks. It was my solace in my darkest times. It was there when I needed it most. Well if anyone can can't understand us then so be it.

Alright guys, if you're not a metal maniac then obviously you have miles to go before you wake up! Bruce Dickinson said in the documentary "Metal: A Headbangers Journey" and this is an amazing statement - "Out of a 30,000 crowd if you're able to connect to a person in the last row and ask him "hey you" and he says "who me?", "YES YOU". That is what is all about.

But I think inspite of all my optimism, metal and its fans will remain as outcastes. Metal talks about the things that we are afraid to discuss, relate or accept. It is not about the well-behaved but sly society. It is about you, you and only you. By its nature it will not appeal to the masses and you know what we fans like it that way.

And for all the guys who still believe in the myths, "god bless you".

Life As I Know It

Lets face it, if one were to ask this question.. What is your purpose in life? I guarantee most of us who are in the corporate world are going to blabber something about success and taking care of our family. Am I correct?

Probe a little deeper and you'll see confusion on many fronts - what do I want to do? Is this job enough to satisfy my monetary needs? Do I really need a family? Can I do it? etc etc..

Yeah I have been through that and even now these thoughts creep up here and there. So well whats the answer? One, you can just push it back and concentrate what we do best. work, play, work, play OR two, laugh it off and again work, play, work, play OR do something about it by doing nothing, basically.

I'm really interested in the last part. My foundation was built on values, religion and spiritualism. I look back at 4-5 yrs ago when I was basically close to what you call a proverbial failure. No, make that real failure.

In 2004, I joined a 3-tier college with no clue to as to what I was about to do then and in the future. Then something happened, I was scared to death after finding out about the high marks that were required for passing. I was bloody scared to death. The outcome was nothing short of dramatic - I scored 92% in accounting, a subject I hadn't heard of in my first 24 yrs. Still I was scared of other subjects that were yet to come. In the second subject also I scored the same, third was the same, fourth the same. One after another, the student with the worst academic record in the class was reeling off 90s. I then realized I had more in me that I had ever thought. From then on it was a head on collision with all the subjects. Gone was the fear of failing. Instead it was replaced by a fierce desire to score high marks. Of course, it had its drawbacks - falling ill, sleeplessness and losing 5-6 kgs in 3 months. I lived to study. It was like studies were controlling me. After two years, after assaulting myself endlessly I passed out with flying colors. I had become so tunnel visioned that I only knew that I had to land a finance job. Well, logically I should have done that. Gave an interview in reuters, low salary, discarded. E&Y, payroll entry, the interviewer basically said as an MBA you shouldn't be doing this. Futures First, well lets say I needed some ultra-quick quantitative skills and presence of mind which I realized after one year. Thank god I didn't get that job.

In comes my current company, offers me a decent salary and I'm in. What do I do? The studies ghost comes to visit me once again with a cloak called as work ghost. I put in the same effort, got results and two and a half years pass by.

After all these crucial years, I was looking for the answer that was right inside me. I was destiny's child. I had just forgotten about it. Yes, it was my fate to bear that initial failures in life.

If anyone looks at his life closely he's gonna notice there are just two main roles that he plays for others - work and family man. He works and has children. Is that all I ask from myself? What about permanency. Nope nothing's permanent. Even your soul has to be recasted once again. So what it is that one can take with him? Life is a cycle of rebirth and karma. The threads of life have been spun already. I have seen it happen to me. No matter how different I think, no matter how I question it, the truth stares is right there in front of me.

The answer lies in submitting yourself. No more I feel fear, but a certain sense of calm and neutrality. It keeps growing stronger. This is always what I wanted since long. I'll not question my thoughts further for I know it hardly means a thing.

Limitations of the open mind

We live in the 21st century India which is a mixture of new beliefs and thought processing systems and, the last bastion of traditional thinking and social behaviour. India has been a great example of studying changing behavioural and social patterns through generations for a now ex-sociology student. Even when I was studying the subject, I couldn't help but notice the changing landscape of my present generation and the following one.

Born into a family of working parents, they embraced solid values of both western and Indian values and; their belief systems. My father always made me wary about the "stretchable" nature as far time was concerned for us Indians. On the other hand, there was an abundance of teachings on the element of spirituality that my state had to offer. From the western side, I still remember him telling me "You know son, westerners are like leeches - they won't let go until they have reaped the outcome of their efforts" and entertainment was treated the way it should be - "entertainment". I grew up listening to English music and watching Hollywood movies. These were just forms of entertainment and not any form of attack on our culture which by the way makes me yell "Our current crop of hindi movies are doing an excellent job of it as the latter is concerned".

I think that the level of exposure that our current crop of kids are exposed to has created a cesspool of undefined belief systems - there are simply no boundaries nor transfer of knowledge to separate these systems. A few examples are in order,

1. Western eating habits are being included in our eating styles. Take a look around the streets you'll see grossly overweight people salivating in front of fast food restaurants. Not too mention the people inside! This is a prime example of a sense addiction - slave to taste. Now, people will talk about bad health when associating themselves with junk food, but forget the deeper meaning that lies within - being a slave to a sense

to one of the five senses, the other being sight, smell, touch and auditory systems.

Conversely, its anti-thesis would be eating clean foods and/or dieting in order to have a great/good body and be proud of it. That will be associated with having good health and cosmetic reasons, but then again overlooking the fact we are feeding our eyes now i.e. slave to sight.

2. Belief in god - Touchy subject I know and the most difficult subject to discuss on. If any parents do transfer spiritual and religious teachings to their kids, the most difficult part would be to explain to their children, "why believe in god". Many of them do it mechanically, which needless to explain wouldn't sustain in the long run. People give me blank faces the moment I put forward my points of view. But the ones who give the "why's" create a recurring cycle of validation in the minds of their children. There is no blind-sightedness and after a certain point of time it becomes inculcated in their psyche. Again, a yawning gap in our teaching systems. A good start would be to ask "who am I"?

On the other hand, its opposite would be to blindly follow whatever is handed in the scriptures. For examples, a notion that you belong to a certain caste based on your birth. Needless to say, a brahmin by birth may turn out to be a hypocrite while a sudra may attain moskhsa. A perfect analogy to this would be to ask - Does a woman become a mother just by giving birth to a child or earn that right by raising him/her?

3. What constitutes work/job? Somehow we have managed to separate our lives into professional and personal roles and forgotten the larger picture of the overall nature of the karma that we have to fulfill. For example, shouldn't we have the same commitment to our families and kids as our jobs. Or is it because we are aligned to our jobs for love of money, peer pressure and competition. Conversely, do we take care of our families cause we love them and/or we are attached to them emotionally and/or need and emotional support. Again all excellent examples of being slaves to our senses.

There can be a few more examples, but largely I wrote this some gaps that exist on our current society. After a small discourse from my brother, I guess fates are tied into our karma and its fruits. Maybe some people are destined to achieve something that others cannot. Realizing something that cannot be validated purely by scientific knowledge and logic is a great challenge and mystery. Maybe fate has some plans for this as well.

As I write this, I can't help think about a couple of lines of an Oriya song that I heard today - "We have come alone to this world and will leave alone as well".